You have had a stressful day. Your back aches, you have been in gridlock traffic for an hour, and your best client dumped you. You cannot wait to get home, read the paper and kick back in the recliner.
Then it happens. She meets you at the door and immediately starts giving you a rundown of her entire day – how she was late for work, where she ate lunch, how her hairdresser cut her hair too short. You are so exhausted that you completely ZONE OUT…..
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You do not want to have this conversation, or any other conversation for that matter. You wish she would take the hint and stop bothering you with it for now. You start thinking about who you will invite over to watch the big game this weekend…..then it happens. The look on her face tells you that she is waiting for an answer to something. What did she just ask you? Should you ask her to repeat it? That sure did not go well that last time you tried it. Yep, you are in trouble. She knows you were not listening and there is no way out of it.
How NOT To Be In the Doghouse…..
Here is your best move. Admit the obvious – you were not listening – and ask for forgiveness. Try to do better the next time. She will respect your honesty and for taking responsibility for your actions.
You were probably expecting a different response, but let’s assess the situation.
When the day comes that she does not tell about her daily life, buddy, you are in some serious trouble.
It is her prerogative to include you in her life, even the little details. When the day arrives that she is not interested in telling you about her daily activities, she is not interested in YOU.
But here is the one thing about women that you might not realize: The number one thing they need from you is ATTENTION. And it naturally takes time to give that attention.
What you need is a plan. Set aside 10 minutes every day to talk, I mean REALLY talk. You need to decide if you need 10 minutes to unwind first or if you want to give her the first 10 minutes when you walk through the door. If you always give her the time, she will respect your need to unwind first.
This should not be a chore. Have a glass of sweet tea (I’m from the South) or coffee. Turn off the TV, cell phones, etc. and try to eliminate all distractions. After you have done this for a while you will find yourself looking forward to that time too.
This is a simple step that you improve your marriage no matter how good it is to begin with. Most all women want to be treated like a princess, and admit it – deep down men really want to be a hero. Both things can be accomplished here. Little moves to pamper her like this will leave her feeling like a princess and will definitely give you hero status with her. Try it for a month and see the changes for yourself.
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